Welcome to 2012. Whether you are ready for it or not, it is here! I think it has been a solid five months since my last blog. Much has happened since August of 2011. My family lost a son and a brother on November 15, 2011. My brother, Derrik Michael, was 20 years old and lost his life while studying abroad in Santiago, Chile. In his third month of grand adventures in South America, he was on a hike with his friend Samuel and after much discussion, they decided to jump into a beautiful waterfall to go for a dip. Unfortunately, they were not able to see the strong undercurrent beneath the seemingly peaceful water. Luckily, his friend Samuel was rescued by a nearby boat. Derrik was unable to make it to shore. It took divers over four hours to extract my brother's body from the water.
What do you do when your worst fear is realized? What do you do when you see and feel the grief in the hearts and souls of your parents? What do you do when you wake up in the morning only to feel the sorrow deepen?
You realize that you are still alive.
To 'be alive' is something different to everyone. To my brother Derrik, living was all about challenging yourself. Challenging yourself with relationships, studies, literature, music, spirituality, and athletics. To Derrik, athletics went FAR beyond team sports. He was a very very talented team sport athlete, most recently as an important contributing member of the Colby College varsity lacrosse team. But team sports were the obvious form of athletic challenges. He looked to the mountains, the rivers, the plains, to nature for real life challenges. Climbing, rafting, hunting, hiking, skiing. That is truly living.
In the past 8 weeks, my family's lives have changed completely. As a family, and as individuals, we have tried to piece together our new lives without Derrik as we have known him for the past 20 years. We find sorrow and loss in experiences that used to bring us joy.
Yesterday, January 10th, was Derrik's 21st birthday. Although Derrik has acted 21 for many years [he would show a fake ID at family dinners...there would be 4 Flahive's and then...another surname. pretty hilarious], this was a very special day. Yes, we ate, we drank, we toasted. But most importantly, we CHALLENGED ourselves. I met up with my Dad at Red Rocks Amphitheater, arguably one of Derrik's favorite places on earth. Being able to experience live music and the great outdoors at the same time combined two of Derrik's greatest passions in life. What did Dad and I do? Kicked our asses as hard as possible, climbing the stairs over and over again until we couldn't breathe.
Blood. Sweat. Tears. Exhaustion. Fatigue. Lactic acid. That is what makes you alive. Adrenaline rushing through your body. The ability to push yourself past your limits. Derrik's life in his body is over. It is up to me, my family, my friends, his friends, to embrace life. We are still able to feel what it means to be alive each and every day. So do yourselves, and my brother Derrik Michael, a favor. Kick some f***ing ass.
